Ive been in a pretty somber mood lately. I guess everybody's been there but i just feel like my life isn't moving in the direction i want it to. I just can't seem to discipline myself to do the things i think i ought. I want to be a great artist. I want to be stronger. I want to learn Japanese. I want to be really good at music and math. Guess that's the theme of my life. Always wanting, but never enough to actully change my attitude. I suppose i'm just venting and nobody will actually care about my ranting, but still i suppose it helps to write it out.
If only i could find myself. I'd be the person I want to be. The Avant-garde that I know i could be if I just had the discipline. Strong, Smart, Handsome and Charming..Yep that would be me. Could be me. Who i would be if I only knew how, or maybe why. I suppose Ill keep waiting on myself to change. I worked out today, so I am a bit pleased with myself. Maybe i can be consistent this time and actually make it a habit. I hope I do. That would at least be a step in the right direction.
I guess we've all been there though. It just feels like im being thrown around by my whims, mood's, and feelings. Like i have no self control and all my plans are for not..I hope things change.
Maybe then my life will go where i want it to. To prosperity, health, and growth. Pray for me any who read this, I need a little prayer right now